During hospice orientation, I was introduced to the concept of honoring my patients and their loved ones as a means to heal the emotional trauma of being surrounded by dying, death and in most cases, gravely grieving individuals. I imagined that this work is full of uncertainty and as a hospice nurse, I will be meeting people at one of their most vulnerable times. Any empathetic caregiver can be burdened by this responsibility. To ensure that this work does not become a burden, it is important to create and carry out a ceremony to acknowledge these experiences.
What called to me was to leave a crystal, stone, shell, feather or other meaningful object in a jar for every patient that I had cared for, who had passed away. As I add each object, I send Reiki prayers to the soul that has passed (with spirit’s permission). Once my jar had almost filled, I decided that honoring each soul who had passed at the ocean would be a meaningful way for me to grieve, send prayers, and to let go with love. Allowing these memories to float with the ocean waves, to feel the strong winds or rains, to smell the burning sage and cedar, was and is my way of expressing my deep gratitude. Gratitude for everything I have learned and gained from each single lifetime.
My first experience at the ocean was met with a dead seal on the rocky beach. As I was walking to the edge of the beach to partake in the ceremony, the ocean waves were slowly reaching towards the seal. Eventually, the seal was dragged into the waters, and I could not help but shed tears of bittersweet joy, as the reality of life and death hit me hard with the realization that souls continue to exist, and their energy surrounds us in profound ways. Over the years, I continue to perform this ceremony, hoping to unite with the coastal environment. When my personal and friends’ loved ones have passed, I humbly honor them, too. Each year, a different animal, or a few, commune at the memorial. Orcas, crows, eagles, and sea lions have joined in the past.
I gently encourage caregivers to acknowledge the sacred pain that gets carried within, and find creative and healing ways to honor those you have served with your intuitive compassion and intelligence. If you have ceremonies or rituals you perform to honor those who have passed, please feel free to share those experiences here. The more we make space for prayer and soul fulfillment, the more we access our full potential.
